Saturday, May 12, 2012

Fridays Letters

Today has been seriously unproductive, which I really don't object since I haven't slept much at all this week. I've been working constantly on papers, and doing ridiculous amounts of reading (I've found I can't stop reading for my International Humanitarian Law: Law of War class, it's so interesting), and am really too excited for Germany that I can't even think about sleeping!

Also, there is a huge concert on AUC's campus at the moment--Amr Diab is playing from 8 until midnight it seems, although music has been blasting since 6:30 p.m. If there is one thing Egyptians know how to do, it's to throw a huge and wonderful party! Unfortunately I couldn't buy tickets today so I'm at home after a nice lunch with an extremely delightful Egyptian friend, who talked with me for a few hours on politics and religion in the U.S. and Egypt (this post won't be about that conversation). She asked me to write some letters to her from Germany and Tennessee, which of course I agreed to because I LOVE writing letters. Speaking of writing letters...

Dear Angela, I must confess that I still don't regret laughing until I cried when you broke your countertop. I also confess that Murph escaped during Thanksgiving when you and Kate went to get more food items, but Thomas had his hands stuck in the I had to chase the Prince down the street by your house (in high heels, cursing him all the way) and was terrified he would get hit by a car. Thankfully, I saved him...and Thomas saved Thanksgiving! :)

The Prince himself!

Dear fantastic shisha, I am really obsessed with you but...must...stop! My lungs are going to hate me for it. I regret to inform you that I must break off our relationship this summer, and maybe while I'm in Germany--even though I bought one of your kin for my German boy to use...curses.

Dear self control, you must learn how to say no to shisha.

Dear Egyptian jewelry collection, you are getting quite ridiculous. I must stop buying your trinkets for my "friends" and then keeping them for myself.

Dear Lufthansa Airlines, *I am making this a public decree* if you don't cooperate with me in precisely ten days I might have to do something rather drastic, because I guarantee you that all of my belongings cannot fit into two suitcases and one puny carry on. Thank you in advance.

Dear delicious (and questionable) mint tea that I bought in a sketchy street store, you taste like summer rain and candy, but I'm pretty sure you're tarnished with some sort of drug. Khalas, habibi.

I feel as if I resemble the Mad Hatter in this photo. Perhaps it's the massive, unruly mane on my head? 

Dear Cairo, you and I have come a long way, and I confess that the thought of leaving you in eleven days really does pull at my heart strings. Last night I went to Zamalek to meet my law professor for our independent study class, and after the session I just meandered around by myself...smelling the most amazing flowers *an older gentleman give me one sunflower, for free* and  delicious food, stopping to pet the cutest dogs that belonged to a sweet Egyptian couple, and ran into a really amazing shop with an accountant who was dying to go to Chicago and asked me a million questions about the states. I had the best time just getting to know you again--without being hassled even once. Then on my way home, the traffic was great, your views were beautiful and I was yet again bewitched by your moon.

Dear Germany, I've become slightly infatuated with you (and your fantastic knudel, pretzels, apfelshorle, spatzle, schloss-sites, cute little breweries, wonderful people, public transportation--oh, and the fact that my boyfriend lives in one of your southern abodes is a plus)! Also, the thought of studying and interning in Berlin for one whole year makes my little heart skip a beat, or two. I just can't wait to visit you and go on crazy excursions once more! In fact, I have already made a Whitney & Sebastian To-Do List but obviously I can't say what's on that list because it's a surprise. *Muuuahahahaahha!*

Dear Tennessee friends and family, I can't wait to see you all in just one month! Chaos will ensue, I promise you.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

M is for Murder (Mushroom Underwear and Monkey Hashish)

Today I have been in the looniest of states. My Shakespirit has come to visit me upon multiple occasions *for those of you that know me well, and quite many of you do, you know that I sometimes like to talk like dear William…and even write like him too! Which proves to be problematic when writing 6,000 word papers about female youth development—a thing that, according to my super genius professor, doesn’t even exist.*

Double mumble, annoyed and troubled.
Skin from curling iron burned and coffee pot bubbled…

You get the drift.

I woke up this morning, well I think it was morning, to stumble to the bathroom (apparently I had fallen asleep with my contacts in again and one happened to fall out in my sleep) and there was red stuff ALL over the place. It was a really pretty shade of red that almost matched my favorite red lipstick that I lost after engaging in massive amounts of Nile festivities. This red stuff however was even smudged on my bathroom mirror. It was kind of goopy…I felt like I should panic because maybe I murdered someone but was too tired to question the mystery substance and instead began thinking about the one time that I somehow managed to cut my foot open (I think my sister and I were dancing like maniacs outside or doing something we weren’t supposed to be doing) and ran into my house, without realizing that I was leaving massive puddles of blood in the doorway and by the refrigerator. My feet really tend to bleed a lot when they are cut, which is not good for sporadic drunken dancing, or just dancing in general. I pondered this over, ignoring the fact that there could have been a dead body within inches of my bed because I tend to do really crazy thing when I sleep *like sleep-walking in heels and eating brownies while crawling into another friends bed* as I floated back to my own slumber haven and its magic sleeping spells and abruptly drifted back to hibernation.

***I did have to wake up however and spent hours at the library, only taking a break to talk to my dear friend Marie and eat mushroom soup…that was actually more like milk soup, with bits of mushroom thrown in and several sizable chunks of butter. Good thing I really like milk.***

When I got home I decided to do laundry, which proved to be VERY interesting to say the least. I really hate doing laundry, it’s my second least favorite chore (the first happens to be packing, even though I love to travel, so it’s a bit ironic). So I went downstairs wearing mismatched house slippers, half real clothes half pajama clothes, and forgot that I was in the process of washing off my make up—so mascara was more than likely smeared to the highest point of heaven. There I found this young Egyptian fellow, who didn’t speak any English it turns out. I just nodded at him, I was still fuming over how incapable my graduate department is, and continued to sort out my clothes in the ways that my mother thinks she taught me.

Brights with brights….but I only have two brights, so I guess those can go with the whites? Hmmmm…these underwear are both bright and dark, maybe those can go in there too. 

I ended up shoving everything into the machine and pressed several buttons, it’s all in Arabic and has weird dials and shapes it turns out, until the machine bounced to life.

Egyptian Fella: Salem is new?
Me: Hello, no. I’ve lived here for awhile now, shukran!
Egyptian Fella: Ohhhhhh. Hennah?
Me: Yes, here. Well, not in this laundry room. Upstairs. *Realizes he is staring, perhaps in horror, at my  mascara covered face in a rather odd way*
Egyptian Fella: Meshy. Shisha? Hasish?
Me: Ummmmm. I do like shisha, but no hashish! Shukran. *I turn to leave.*
Egyptian Fella: Monkeyyyy Hasish? Aaywah?
Me: Monkey? Monkey’s don’t smoke hashish do they?
Egyptian Fella: *Rattles around in his laundry bag and pulls out something that looks like candy*
Me: Oh! Malesh! La shukran, I am, um, dieting! *and would prefer not to eat your lint covered drug, because I’m sure that’s what it probably is*
Egyptian Fella: Meshy! One minute! *He gets this really excited grin on his face, hands me his laundry bag, and then runs upstairs *
Me: I quickly drop all of his things, grab mine, and run upstairs to my room. Which proves to be rather tricky in my not-so-sneaky-squeaky-house slippers.

***Hours later I returned with my clean laundry, apparently it take 3 hours to wash the laundry no matter how many clothes actually need to be washed, and then an hour or more for drying. I began to sort through my clothes and found a questionable pair of women’s blue underwear with mushrooms on them. I would never wear blue underwear with mushrooms on them, so I knew they were definitely not mine. I also found this small bag of something all crunched up! It looked like oreo cookies and mint, but it certainly did not smell like oreo cookies and mint. Since I live in Egypt I just tossed the (possibly toxic) substance outside, hoped the little camel or donkey living outside of my window wouldn't eat it, and threw the plastic bag into my trash.***

Now that I know there has not been a murder in my room, even though I didn’t check under the sink, I can continue with my productive studying--without monkey hashish...

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

When In Doubt...

(there is nothing better to do than online shoe lusting!)

I'm currently in my desert abode, mentally sending unfathomable doubt and vast amounts of abominations regarding  the PPAD department out into the universe, munching on disgustingly massive numbers of dates, and trying to decide what to write my cursed thesis on *as I type furiously all the hated words of a methodology that I really don't want to do*...

BUT as I took a slight sneaky, peek at Betsey Johnson's new spring jewelry, I found myself in big trouble! My birthday was yesterday, after all, and I have yet to buy myself a birthday gift you see.

Here's a few of the things I may have to invest in as soon as I get back to the states in about *sigh* 6 weeks!

I am dying to try Vera's new scent "Princess Night". I used to wear Princess until I converted to Viva La Juicy just a few years ago. I feel a change in the wind! :)

I tragically gave my clutch to a homeless person last week and my most favorite MAC lipstick just happened to be in the bottom of my bag. :( Make Up Forever has amazing shades and it stays ALL DAY--this Satin Vermillion Red is definitely their prettiest color. 

I've been looking for a new passport cover for the longest time! These are so cute and full of wanderlust *not to mention my favorite character of fiction, Alice!* TinderandBloom makes these sweet treasures on ETSY. 

Jessica Simpson never disappoints me! According to her website,  she just gave birth to her first baby girl named Maxwell!  I'm not such a huge fan of the name,  just the shoes. :)

I have been dreaming about this vintage gypsy dress for the past 4 months at least! The crazy girl keeps moving the prices up and down. I may have to use my bartering skills in the very near future...
Isn't this little purse adorable?! I managed to get my hands on an amazingly cheap vintage Mary Frances violin purse last summer in Knoxville.  It was brand new but the silly, young girl who had it just didn't like it--I've had loads of wonderful compliments so far, thanks Maria for helping me pick it out!

I'd say that's enough daydreaming for now.
Must get back to work!