"Ich bin ein Berliner!"

Folks, I am now a bonafide Berliner!

Well, almost.

There's this whole not-fluent-in-German situation that's getting in the way of things. Oh, and I still can't quite figure out the transportation system with all of the S-Bahns, U-Bahns, and Deutsch Bahns scattered around! However, I did wander about today by myself and re-discovered my awesome school (only because my friend, Thomas, had helped me find it the day before), as well as some other really wonderful shops, nooks, and crannies. 

An H&M is right across the street. That's all I'm going to say about that. Now, moving on! 

Thomas also took me to AlexanderPlatz yesterday, this huge concrete "socialist" jungle in the midst of Berlin that's full of all sorts of banks, shopping, and food chains. Apparently there are also loads of festivals that are set up in this area with overpriced meals and beverages for the unlucky tourist. I did find this rather famous world clock intriguing!

Can you spot the Tennessee time zone? :)

We also meandered a bit more and Thomas taught me a bit of Berlin's [religious] history as well--you can imagine I was extremely enticed by this bit. The French constructed this stunning building to show their appreciation for Berlin after the city welcomed the French Protestants inside of the city walls to save them from fierce prosecution (and religious persecution). This square was really quite old and there were several nice looking, and smelling, restaurants I made note of.

I fell in love with this ferocious lion and the playful, teasing little cherub that floated along his back. What a nice pair they make!

I've also been fortunate enough to taste an an almost-holy delicacy that's only moments from my doorstep. The name of this heavenly eco-friendly and all organic ice cream shoppe is called "Naschkatze," which is a term of endearment that's normally used for little children who like sweet things entirely too much. I have decided that I am indeed a naschkatze, especially when my lion-hair is completely out of control. 

I had coffee ice cream and one other flavor that couldn't quite be translated properly. Nevertheless, it was still delicious. Not all wonderful things have to have a name. 

On another note, I am so satisfied and happy with where I live! My little room is so quaint and QUIET (which was the most important factor for finding a room). I love the view that I see when I look outside my window! I've kept the windows open almost all of time time because the breeze blows in just perfectly.

*Note to self: Purchase a lovely plant to place onto the windowsill. Also, remember to water said plant.*

In my excitement I forgot to pack proper shoes for Berlin. Yes, in my excitement I packed ONLY heels for Berlin (and one pair of flip flops). This was not done on purpose! I had to do a major search at H&M today for a pair of black flats. After purchasing them I feel like they may be a little too small! This is very problematic due to the fact I am very uncoordinated and can barely walk on cobblestones in flats, let alone heels. *Smacks hand to forehead*

At least my closet is practically the size of a secret garden. I've been thanking my lucky stars for the past two days.

So, I am finally getting accustomed to my new home and am also very happy with my two awesome roommates. Although I really have to focus on my thesis writing before school at Hertie starts in the second week of September--which is really, horribly, quite soon--it's hard to focus when I get to see my German boy in only two weeks! Yes, I'm obviously counting down the days. Unfortunately, I've left my other favorite fellow in Tennessee. 

My handsome Kacey boy. I just finished his morning brushing session. Look at his smile!

I think he's buried a bit of my heart somewhere in the woods behind my house, because he knows I'll have to come back and play tug of war for it. 

A Tennessee Summer Night

I have really missed the sound of crickets.

Thankfully they've lulled me to sleep most nights, right after I've caught a glimpse or two of the glowing lightning bugs peeping near my window. This summer has not turned out the way I've planned, but then again most things don't. That's the beauty of life.

I've loved the miserably humid heat here, especially when my hair has curled up without a care in the world. It's been amazing to just dip down into the cold water of the lake, without trying to think about what creepy things are lurking along the bottom, and just enjoying the sun basking onto my pale skin. Church services on Sunday mornings make my heart flutter. Catching up with my friends over many glasses of moscato and unbelievable tales have shown traces of new laughter lines around my smiling lips, I'm almost sure of it. The Mexican food, biscuits and gravy, Tennessee barbq, and other bad-for-you-Southern things have tasted better than I remember. I suppose absense does indeed make the heart grow fonder. With that being said...

I only have a week and a half left until I move to Berlin for a whole year! I'm so extremely excited and I can't really find the words to express myself at this moment (perhaps I've had too much iced coffee today so I'm not really thinking straight). All I know is that I'm ready for my next big adventure and I'm beyond thankful that I am already so in love with this wonderful country, even though I've never set eyes on Berlin before--but of course, that's not stopping me.

I'm really looking forward to what this year will bring. Hopefully an amazing internship, some sort of attachment to the German language, wonderful times with my crazy friends and a certain German boy, and incredible travel opportunities (thank goodness for Ryan Air, and other ridiculously cheap airlines...and TRAINS--one of my most favorite ways to travel).

Actually there are so many things I'm looking forward to or semi-planning to do:

• Dressing how I want to dress without being stared at like a piece of kofta.
• Drinking massive amounts of wine, amongst other things, in public.
• Breathing in FRESH air and admiring the energy mills, and solar panels.
• Oktoberfest. :) (I can't wait to have my very own dirndl!)
• Christmas makets and the gorgeous holiday season in a --hopefully--snowy Germany.
• St. Patrick's Day in Dublin, Ireland. Don't worry, I shall restrain myself so I won't go searching for pots of gold to buy ungodly amounts of shoes with.
• Actually being challenged in school and being able to express my more liberal thoughts, and opinions, without worrying so much who I might offend.
• Spatzle und apfelshorle.
• Hopefully visiting my most favorite place in the world--Barcelona, Spain.
• Get in touch with my roots. Scotland, be prepared.
• RUNNING OUTSIDE. I was not able to do this in Cairo.
• Lovely picnics outside.
• Bike riding through the most glorious parts of Germany.
• Basically anything outside.
• Work more extensively on my graduate thesis (make major connections with German organization so they will "sponsor" my research).
• Learn how to drink beer. And LIKE it.
• Refrain from eating an entire loaf of German bread each week.
• Visit at least one enticing restaurant each week with my dear friend, Thomas.
• Make my darling little abode in Berlin feel just like home! (This shouldn't be too difficult since I already have an excellent roommate, from England in fact).

And the list goes on.

Also, there are still some small things that I want to do in Tennessee before leaving this summer. Particularly visiting Cades Cove and going to DollyWood, of course. Any takers? :)

I am however so blessed that I've been able to see so many friends, church members, and long lost family this summer. I'm the happiest I've been in such a long time--thanks to the wonderful people in my life, and the experiences I've had since taking a break from Cairo. This time in Tennessee has brought some new light to my spirit and I'm almost ready for August 5th, when I'll be leaving home again.

Until then, I'll let the little crickets sing me to sleep.

The Lion's Den

Do you ever have those days when you feel like your heart is just beating out of its chest for one reason or another, and it won't stop no matter how many times you envision wrapping it, layer by layer so its fervent drumming falls into silent submission? Today I felt like I was being thrown around in a sea, as the waves beat me mercilessly--I couldn't quite keep my head above water. I was surrounded by 130 children at my church's summer church camp (that's not why I felt like I was suffocating, but it might have had something to do with it) while they were talking about stories regarding the Nile River. Everyone, even the small children, questioned me about living in Egypt or why I would ever want to return there.

My stomach was in knots as more and more questions were asked. Although I am so incredibly glad that I moved to Cairo almost a year ago, especially because fate has aligned things so beautifully for the next glorious year or so. I've become more secure with my surroundings, no matter where I am, and have some of the most wild and hilarious stories to share. A few of you know about the most UNFORGETTABLE and amazing experiences I've had there while several of you also know about the worst occasions there--and there are some that are still kept mostly secret because I'd rather not have to hear, "Don't tell me about it anymore, you're the one living there" or "Egyptian men are all the same, just color your hair and wear a scarf...you'll be fine!" First of all, don't ask if you don't want to hear about it or plan on cutting me off to argue with me about something you cannot even fully fathom. Secondly, I am NOT going to color my hair (unless you give me a few hundred dollars a month to get it done) and NO, not ALL Egyptian men are the same. Unfortunately, it appears that a majority of them are, which got me to thinking...and reading...and remembering.

I remember a group of boys on the Metro train who stood in front of me and shook long sticks of candy in my face, while they were cleverly arranged quite  precisely where their more than likely nonexistent manhood should grow. I was taunted and disgustingly teased until an ancient Egyptian woman beat them all across the heads with her cane, in one good swipe, until they all jumped off at the next exit.

I remember having my bags thrown out of a taxi because he discovered I was an American and then a woman wearing nikab wouldn't even take me all the way home afterwards because she had a curfew.

I remember having my bag ripped out of my arms and my hair pulled so ferociously that I finally punched a young man, and fled between the rest of the pack with my purse in hand, into the small store where hardly any one one look me in the eye. I was bruised and exhausted, incapable of thinking for the rest of the day.

I remember having my ass and every inch of my genital area grabbed with such force that I hurt for hours after, but didn't want to complain or make matters worse. I didn't want to tell my mother, my boyfriend, or closest secret-keepers any more--what could they do, right?

I remember a man pulling down his pants in front of me and my roommate, cussing us out, and the police doing nothing--even though we were hysterical and in detrimental emotional shock due to everything else that occurred that week.

I remember a police officer that called my roommate continuously and harassed her without apology, even when she explained she had a serious boyfriend.

I remember feeling the pressure of men in Tahrir pushing up against me, aroused and unforgiving...fighting with my friends to free ourselves from the crowd before it was too late.

I remember all of these things and yet I will remain persistent in my fight for women's rights in Egypt and elsewhere. I should be ashamed at the thought and my recent acts of remaining silent, and urge other women...especially those in Western countries, to continue to talk about the injustices they face and to spread the word about things they read, see, and hear.

I suppose I am still young enough to believe that these oppressive cultural differences will change and adapt, although it may take 50 years or more to educate those who cannot even correctly define the definition of RAPE or SEXUAL ASSAULT or GENDER BASED VIOLENCE. After reading this post by Natasha Smith I found myself crying more than I have in months, which was exactly the kind of electroshock that I needed to get my heart racing again. [http://natashajsmith.wordpress.com/].

"Men began to rip off my clothes. I was stripped naked. Their insatiable appetite to hurt me heightened. These men, hundreds of them, had turned from humans to animals...They were scratching and clenching my breasts and forcing their fingers inside me in every possible way. So many men. All I could see was leering faces, more and more faces sneering and jeering as I was tossed around like fresh meat among starving lions...A small minority of men...tried to protect me and guide me to a tent...Men pulled my blonde hair – a beacon of my alien identity."

I was astounded at the bravery and courage of this amazing journalist and am so thankful that nothing this extreme has ever happened to me.

But it could. 

I couldn't help but thinking, "Whitney, what if? What if you didn't stop after that last drink? What if you took a taxi by yourself so late at night? What if you wouldn't have ignored those men, would they have followed you? What if you didn't use every bad word in Arabic you knew to ward off and insult the man following you? What if?"

Never in my adult life have I considered myself weak or helpless. I am always the lion in the den: proud, determined, and ferocious when necessary (although I have at times felt like Daniel in the lion's den). Deep down I am embarrassed that I have bowed my head for so long, even though I've often thought that it wouldn't be worthwhile to bring these issues up since they are all over the news. However, I thought maybe (just maybe) if my more distant friends and family could read about some of these occurrences from someone they know then it would hit closer to home. Educate yourselves (I also remember being FURIOUS when a dear friend asked me, "What is Tahrir Square?" several months after I had been in Egypt) then be thankful, and perhaps thank God *or a powerful deity of sorts*, that you live in a country where you can be educated!

I almost did not post this. I mean really what's the use of one more puny blog post giving commentary on issues that everyone can just watch on television or read in the newspaper? It's because of the fact that I know instances like these don't only happen in the Middle East and that's why no one, WOMAN or MAN, should remain silent. The more stories that are shared, the more hell that is raised, the more the world will pay attention.

Be loud.

Be resilient, and don't you dare be afraid to speak your mind--even when you think no one is listening, because I bet you that someone will.