Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Lost and Found

Christmas has passed.
2013 is right around the corner.

I have to ask myself, "Whitney, you crazy redhead you. What have you accomplished this year?"

I'm at a loss for words.
For once.
Maybe it's the fact that I know I won't see my family for another year. Making the total count one year and a half--of only Skype, letters, and intense Facebook messaging. I wouldn't say I'm homesick.
No, not homesick.

I just feel comfortable when I'm so close with my family.
So it must be true, that sweet old saying.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Why yes, it certainly does.

I can't exactly put my finger on it, but I'm almost overwhelmed with the thought that THIS is it.
I am an ADULT. I've been living abroad, on my own, for one and a half years and most of that was in a third world revolutionary country no less. 
This really isn't an accomplishment. 
I would probably say that the fact I haven't gained 40 pounds from all the amazing food I've consumed is the largest accomplishment.

I keep feeling this thrilling pulse racing through me, like deadly lightning. I'm afraid and yet enthralled, but motionless. 
Does this make sense? 
 I've spoken with a few of my best friends, who happen to be activists and world travelers, and they too have these feelings of manic uncertainty.
I can't help but remember one of my favorite quotes, by Henry David Thoreau.
 "My life is like a stroll upon the beach, as near to the ocean's edge as I can go."
Thinking of this mantra satisfies me, and reminds me that it's okay to be uneasy. I personally believe that if your life is too comfortable, then you aren't living properly.

It's okay to be a little lost, because eventually you'll find yourself again...
Even if you happen to meander through several shoe stores, ice cream shops, and European boutiques along the way. 

Merry Christmas everyone, and happy new year!
In love and peace,

No comments:

Post a Comment